Walking the Walk

Lead, Follow or Get Out of the Way

K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Stupid)


A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with the First Step

Blah, blah, blog


I have, for too long, put off this style of discourse.  And, to be be clear, it's not the "blog" format that I've avoided, it's putting my ideas out there - in writing.  Once I've sent it out, it can't be "forgotten". There's a record of it which means I have to take ownership of my thoughts in a way that is permanent and outside of my control once published. 

So, how do I know that I'm ready to share my thoughts, perspectives and hypotheses in this new way?

I asked myself the right questions:

Q1.  What is my purpose for publishing my ideas?


A1.  My purpose is to share information around "raising adolescents".  There are a great many books written about our infants, toddlers, preschoolers and young children.  Then, the self-help literature jumps the "trough of human development"* (a.k.a adolescence) and picks up again in adulthood where we find ourselves as existentially-challenged grown ups. Which brings me to Q2.


Q2.  Why is my perspective relevant?

A2.  I am, myself, an existentially-challenged adult and parent of three young women (10, 14 and 15).  I am also an 18 year veteran of teaching kids in grades 5-8.  I read the theory and live the reality in the classroom and at home.  I am an avid observer of people and find it impossible not to connect ideas.  I'm spontaneous but have enough experience to find grounding and relevance. I was once judgmental and have evolved to practical  observer.  Finally, I have taken my observations and connected/ synthesized them and applied them to adolescents.  Some of it is effective, some of it is a work in progress and some of it is dead wrong.  I'll attempt to communicate all of this in these blogs.


Q3.  Am I ready for the kind of feedback inherent in a blog?

A3.  Yes.  I've passed the tipping point where my purpose exceeds my need to be right.  Salvador Dali helped me with this by saying:


"Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it."


My takeaway:  Get over myself and put it out there.  Being "right" is not an absolute.  It's really all about the scientific method.


1.  Make observations and wonder/daydream/obsess
2.  Develop a hypothesis as to what seems to be going on
3.  Develop a test to check the hypothesis
4.  Get feedback and analyze/reflect on it
5.  Tweak and practice until it becomes practically "right"

An example:


1.  I have worked with many kids that don't seem to: be motivated, care, know how to follow instructions, etc.
2.  I thought that if they had simple and predictable "first steps" which were consistent and accountable they would begin to take care of their academic responsibilities on their own (empowering).  Conversely, I thought that if I engaged each student in an individualized manner I would end up owning their issues (enabling).
3.  I developed methods which put the kid at the center of their responsibilities but with the predictable structures providing both feedback and action (first steps, next steps, reflection, problem-solving, etc.).  Their accountability to me was never personalized but instead driven and guided by their objective progress (or lack thereof) and next steps.  
4.  The kids' demeanor and attitude improved as they found success consistently using the methods and protocol.  It's difficult to measure attitude and motivation, but it's observable.  The ease and consistency of thoughtful strategies and accountability have been very effective.  And because "Success Breeds Success" (Mia Hamm) it created momentum (traction & direction) in other areas. 
5.  Step 4 has been developing for years.  The reflection and tweaks made year after year have been significant but always thoughtful and purposeful. 

Caveat:  This is not a "silver bullet" dynamic.  It's slow and requires methodical and patient constancy.  Influencing change in (pre) adolescents isn't likely to be a direct hit.  They are ridiculously busy processing emotional and physical signals.  We might think we're being clear and interesting but that's just our side of the equation.  By the way, the more emotional the message, the less likely we as adults are to change behavior. Still, with clear, consistent and unemotional feedback & guidance, it is possible to impact change.


So, now what?


I'll close this introductory post with a link to a Slate.com article from 2009 which is both interesting and relevant.  In future posts I'll try and provide a reference to something in the news as well as my take on the topic.  Finally, I'd love your feedback. 




 Thoughts?



* Credit for Trough of Human Development goes to Mr. Ray; thanks!