Irreconcilable Differences?

Dear Education,

I want a divorce. 

I still love you but it's not a fulfilled love.  It's superficial and based on me compromising who I am in order to support you.  It's dysfunctional and codependent and has kept me bound and gagged and feeling crazy for a really long time.

Don't get me wrong; there's a ton of potential in this relationship, Education.  I mean, I have a lot of energy and passion for helping people learn about themselves in order to be better people.  And, for what it's worth,  I believe you think you're doing the right things in order to help people as well.

But, in this relationship with you I have tried a lot of creative ideas only to end up disappointed.  I never feel that you truly appreciate the innovative and vulnerable risks I take.  I'm always feeling discounted, self-conscious, defeated and crazy. 

For example, when I said let's empower children by letting them discover who they are and leverage their innate strengths in order to grow you admonished me with:

"But the parents..."

"But the standardized tests..."

"But the Universities..."

"But the schedule..."

Your heart was probably in the right place because you offered me a new professional development opportunity each August - every year for 20 years - to show me how to be a good teacher.  I even became one of those professional developers and delivered the script for being a good teacher to others.

And, it was fun...

...for a little while.

I mean I would have done anything to please you.

But I've met someone who's shown me another way to live.

Another way to love.

I've been having an affair with Learning.

I'm sorry.

I couldn't tell you earlier because I wanted to make sure it wasn't just lust.  After all,  Learning is so freaking hot.  Learning makes me feel alive.  When I'm with you I hit dead ends.  I always feel "not good enough" when I'm with you because my creative ideas are not valued.  I really did want to believe that if I followed your lead I would be happy.  All I ever end up feeling is flat with you, Education.

But, I now know happiness and it's with Learning.

I did love you Education or, as I liked to call you, School.   But, School you're just not listening to me.  I tried to tell you that I wanted more empowerment for kids and all you gave me was the promise of technology.  I wanted more reflective practice in the school day and all I got was more homework.

School, you're a crappy listener.

Somehow Learning speaks to me without saying a word.  Being with Learning is a feeling - a vibe that resonates deeply.  It's a joyful, inspiring sensation.  I don't feel dependent on Learning to tell me if I'm right or wrong.  Learning let's me figure it out for myself.

And, you know what?  I've discovered some pretty exciting things as a result!

For example, did you know that kids will work hard in spite of not getting credit for it?  I have gone weeks without formal grading and I've seen kids just as eager to engage and apply what they know and make adjustments accordingly.  Of course, I make sure to give my students clear and timely feedback which adds much momentum and stability to the learning cycle.  Also, I no longer get stressed if they don't get it right on the first, second or twenty-fourth try because I know they have their own path to walk.  Still, the feedback and the acceptance of mistakes as a totally normal component for growth is deeply resonant and transformative.

Also, I stopped being so cynical about homework.  I used to resent you, School, for not giving up this abusive practice but I now accept that you're just afraid to try a departure from this cultural/archaic  norm.  I accept that homework is an easy way to control kids so they don't fritter away their time on Facebook and Minecraft even though there are a lot of awesome kids doing way more than that after school.  Some kids actually spend a lot of time working on other important elements of a healthy lifestyle like exercise, team work, service, family time and getting enough sleep.

Sigh...
 
I know, I know.  Those things hardly have an impact on the SAT or their GPA.  And, you're not wrong for reminding me of those realities.  It just makes me sad because I think we can do better than that.

And, again, it's not how I feel when I'm with Learning.

Somehow Learning makes me want to work harder and longer than you do, School.   I do it with you because I feel that's a spouse's duty.  I hardly enjoy it though.  I rarely feel satisfied unless I'm fantasizing about how I can be (with) Learning.  I'm uninspired, unmoved by our union.  Most times, I'm just waiting for the meetings to be over...

I probably should've known I was playing with fire when I started looking at these arousing videos:

Changing Education Paradigms

The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

The Purpose of Education

It stirred something within me and I couldn't control myself.  I began reading lusty tomes to stoke the flames of passion:

Global Achievement Gap 

The Blessing of a B Minus

The Inner Game of Tennis

What I didn't know until now is that I have been in love with Learning for a long time.

Alfie Kohn and Jonathon Kozol warned me about you in college.  Hell, even Richard Bach was screeching Learning's praises over the waves of conformity.

And I married you because I thought for sure that I was going to grow as a human with you - to make a difference for others.

School, I thought I knew you.  You were always the Big Man On Campus.  I thought you'd provided me a lifetime of opportunities to grow within your established walls.  And so I said "I do."

I should've known better.  I had a previous relationship with School - although I was much younger.  I struggled through School's long & degrading lectures and because I said so rationales before I met you.  I had accepted that, perhaps, I was the faulty one in the relationship.  I was young and resisting authority was, naturally,  part of growing up.

But, I still feel that I'm the crazy one.  Why do I feel that I'm the "only one" that doesn't get the insanity of Scantron testing, kids not getting enough sleep and parents that rob their children of the opportunity to grow up in the name of success (college acceptance).

School, we are making our kids compliant, cynical and defeated when the 21st Century is asking them to be actively engaging in planning authentic solutions to genuine problems.  We are still grouping kids by age and not by interest and we have little trust in their ability to explore on their own.

Learning has taught (!) me to trust.  It doesn't care if I'm happy or not.  Learning let's me make the choice to pursue those things that I am interested in and make sense of the world as a result.

Learning whispers sweet somethings in my ear:

"Do the things you know and you shall learn the truth you need to know."

- Louisa May Alcott

And I've whispered back:

"Build on what you know.  Know what you don't know."

Since I embraced Learning I've discovered my strengths and, as a result, a much less emotionally-constipated approach to helping others help themselves.

< Semantic Soup:  Should we call this Teaching? Facilitating? Coaching? Guiding? Herding Cats?>

Regardless, It's very satisfying to see kids and adults liberated by my strengths.

Look, School, I also know you've been seeing someone else as well.  It didn't bother me at first because I figured I was doing something wrong and you deserved to be happy.

You see, I know about you and Money.

I guess I have always known about this relationship but I figured it was an indirect or, at least, a platonic relationship.  Boy was I wrong.

Education and Money.  It pains me to say it, but it's undeniable.   I hate that Money has come between us.  It seems so cliche.  Still, it's undeniable...

A huge "non-profit" organization that operates like a big business

Is the Point of School to Make More Money?

Look I get it; Money's sexy.  It can take you places that are easier and less gritty than Learning can.  Still, easy is weak and gritty is tough.  And grit is a really important trait to possess.

I don't want to get in the way of your relationship with Money.  I'm not even sure if I could resist Money's temptations, myself.  What I do know is that the four of us are going to be forever intertwined and, therefore, have to find a way to coexist.

But are we going to merely survive or is there a way for us to thrive?

So, is a divorce what I want or is it a new paradigm I'm seeking?

You know, one in which:

 *  We stop pretending that, currently, Education, School and Learning are the same thing.

*  We stop thinking of kids as students and treat them as humans because...

*  ...We have really good brain and psychological research to inform our pedagogy and parenting.

*  We reconcile the fact that we are doing too good a job of teaching kids how to follow directions and a piss poor job of letting kids make and own decisions - the good and the (inevitable) bad ones.

If we can do this then, perhaps, Money won't be able to prey on our (administrators', teachers', parents' & kids') hopes and fears as much as it does.  Money has a strong ego and easily acts as a surrogate for thoughtful decision-making; it tends to throw itself at problems.

But, if we can keep Money under control then maybe, just maybe, we can reinvent this industry from the inside out.  Because if we don't, Education, your love affair with Money will continue to compromise our marriage.

I love you, Education.  But we have a lot of sorting out to do.

Yours,

A 21st Century Teacher/Facilitator/Guide/Coach/Cat Herder/Lover of Learning