By the Numbers: My Midlife Crisis

I'm 45. 

Midlife.

Old Enough to Know Better and (Often) Too Young to Care.

Half-Time.

Q:  So, what's the score?

A:  3, 18, 17, 13, 8, 5, 7, 20, 1,000,000 to 1.

"3" is the number of daughters that I am fortunate to have (learned from).  

"18" is the age of the eldest.  I have Learned from her the importance of creating space in order to understand one’s self in order to understand the world.  Even when that space is very lonely.

"17" is the age of the second eldest.  She's shown me that failure is a necessary component of success.  Even when there is deep pain and hurt in the failure. 

"13" is the age of the third eldest.  Lesson Learned:  Keen observation and smart maneuvering can keep one from loneliness and pain.  Even when, eventually, you have to let down your guard because it's just so damn frustrating & exhausting to fake it.

"8" is the number of years that I have lived and worked in Asia (Lite). As I reflect on this time I recognize the lessons I have learned in a place that is both foreign & familiar / full of rich possibilities & excruciating limits.

"5" is the number of years I worked and lived in South America, exploring the greatest extremes in family, geography, power, wealth and culture.

"7" is the number of years I worked with kids in US public schools thus beginning my journey as an Educator.

"20"…

There are two 20s.   

The first describes, chronologically, the number of years I have been a Husband - the number of years that I have had the opportunity to love, share, negotiate, predict, compromise, sacrifice, leverage, manipulate, humiliate, empathize, coordinate, celebrate, frustrate, support, scrutinize, project, introspect, reject, accept, build up, tear down, get up & get down with another human being in the most intimate and complicated of 21st century relationships, a marriage.

The other "20" corresponds to my time on task as an Educator (an equally challenging role in the 21st century).

While I've been hired many times as a teacher, I've never been able to remain one for long.  “Teacher” implies that people learn as a result of direct instruction – let’s call that “teaching”.  People can be controlled, coerced & shown how to copy and conform.  That part of teaching can be taught.  But learning -  real, authentic, deep, meaningful, purposeful and personal learning is not a result of being taught.  There's a difference.

     It's the difference between Teacher and Educator.

     It's the difference between Surviving and Thriving.  

     It's the difference between How to Do Something and Why to Do Something.  

     It's the difference between Should and Must.

"Should is how others want us to show up in the world - how we're supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn't do.  It's the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us. When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.  

Must is different - there aren't options and we don't have a choice.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self.  It's our instincts, our cravings and longings, the things and ideas we burn for, the intuition that swells up from somewhere deep inside of us.  Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people's ideals and start connecting to our own.  Because when we choose Must, we are listening to our calling from within, from some luminous, mysterious place."

- from Elle Luna's The Crossroads of Should and Must 

As an Educator, I help people learn to help themselves.  I don't teach.  I facilitate, coach, guide, lead, redirect, show and, sometimes, do nothing but wait.

I wait because...

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used to create them."  

Albert Einstein

"The two most important days in your life are the day you're born and the day you find out why."  

Mark Twain

How Daydreaming Helps Children Process Information and Explore Ideas

Psychology Today

I wait because the best thinking isn't rote, it's wrought.  

The research is pretty clear that, in the 21st Century, it's not about information covered by teachers. 

It's about information being uncovered by Learners.

It's about (effective & efficient) Structure and (lots of) Choice.

It's about giving kids a chance to apply their (own) Knowledge & Intuition in order to Ask & Answer (thoughtful) Questions to Discover & Solve (meaningful) Problems.

It's about time (is what it is).

1,000,000 to 1

Actually, it’s "1 in 1,000,000" (as in, I have an idea that might just be one in a million).

And, it’s about time.

Half-Time

I can’t pretend to teach anymore.  After all, I’ve learned too much about "Teaching" and...

It’s too damn lonely.

It’s too damn frustrating & exhausting.

... And, I now know I can handle the pain of failure as an Entrepreneur because I Must succeed as an Educator.

1 in 1,000,000

I have the Passion & Expertise to help people learn to discover & help themselves by leveraging "Structure" in order to make time for "Choice".

I have an Idea that will disrupt the status quo and target Learning instead of teaching.  

I have a Plan to replace "school".  

  

Half-Time is almost over.  Stay Tuned for the Second Half...