As a result, I am quite often engaged in thoughtful, rich and spirited conversations about teens & preteens (edad del burro, my mom says). I talk to parents stinking of Teen Spirit, parents of children on the verge of crossing the River Styx (from elementary school to middle school) and those that are trying to stay focused on their child's baby steps (literally) while worrying about where these steps will take them in the future (figuratively). These conversations happen on campus, on the phone and at costume parties (picture me as an over sized Austin Powers or as Frankenstein). The point is, parents need & want to talk about this stuff. And I luuuuv talking about it; anytime, anywhere with anyone.
What does this say about them?
Folks raising kids today are generally & genuinely anxious. The anxiety comes, in part, from (over)exposure to information. Furthermore, this info can be erroneously-focused by typing emotionally-chosen words into Google. Don't get me wrong, the internet is great. But it can be the entire Pacific Ocean when what you really need is salt for your margarita. Furthermore, once one
Adding to this anxiety (or choose from the list below)...
(THESAURUS ALERT!)
| all-overs, angst, ants in pants, apprehension, botheration, butterflies, care, cold sweat, concern, creeps, disquiet, disquietude, distress, doubt, downer, drag, dread, fidgets, flap, foreboding, fretfulness, fuss, goose bumps, heebie-jeebies, jitters, jumps, misery, misgiving, mistrust, nail-biting, needles, nervousness, panic, pins and needles, restlessness, shakes, shivers, solicitude, suffering, suspense, sweat, trouble, uncertainty, unease, uneasiness, watchfulness, willies, worriment |
...is the playground talk.
So, it's safe to say that parents spend a lot of time thinking about their kids and want/need to talk about/figure out what to do, etc.
Me too.
I love it! I read a lot of stuff on human nature. This includes brain stuff, human interest stuff, economics stuff, kid stuff, marriage stuff, sports stuff, education & learning stuff. I engage people in conversation about this every chance I get. I am now writing about this stuff. It goes way beyond my job at school and at home. It's my passion.
My passion for all things human nature colors all of my interactions. As it turns out, it always has. Clearly, my time on task in education (18 years) and as a dad (almost 16 years) has drawn this out further; but it's always been there.
Part of this is genetic. My mom is a retired teacher. My dad is a scientist (in the food industry). They are both still interested in my life and are caring & supportive grandparents. The career and familial choices I have made are, therefore, somewhat prescribed.
But the choices I have made in these streams (career in education and family man) are mine. My choice of mate has further influenced my choices around the where, when, how, who and why of my life. My career choice in education has exposed me to people, places and ideas that share a common focus - kids. Finally, my role as "dad" has given me a perspective that keeps me in many worlds at once. I get to see my kids through the eyes of a teacher, a man who was once almost 16, 14 and 10, the mate of their mom, etc. etc. etc.
As David Byrne (of the Talking Heads) asked himself,
"Well, how did I get here?"
Genetics and Passion.
It's a hypothesis. I do this a lot. At the risk of bugging people, I ask a lot of questions. I ask questions to get to know people; to try and understand why people do what they do. I'm so curious that I don't care if I'm initially bugging people or that I'm dressed like Frankenstein at the moment.
Really, I can't help it. I can't help but think about "raising adolescents". With my genetic predisposition I have found myself in a particular life's stream. In this stream I have found passion for what I do and what I wonder about. This passion has led me to finally write publicly, in spite of other genetic predispositions: procrastination and perfectionism. It's the thing that's kept me in the same profession for 18 years and that keeps me coming home when I know someone (at least one) is going to be in a grumpy mood.
HEAR THIS: I am independent. I am stubborn, skeptical and opinionated. I can't (easily) follow directions that I don't agree with. I'll always try to find a way around them. My point: It's significant that I still luuuuv my career path and my family. It goes way beyond duty; it's passion.
At the risk of getting a little metaphysical, I believe my passion is allowing me to recognize the signs in my daily life that connect and prompt me to "go big". It hasn't always been this way and it won't always burn hot. I have had doubts. I have had other realities distract me from my passion. But, it's always there in my core. Moreover, as I look back I can recognize the times when I was not feeling inspired but was still gathering momentum for the work I'm doing today.
And, I think this is true for all of us. We can't escape our genetics but I think the same is true for our passions. Discovering what those passions are may dictate the type of life we lead, the kind of differences we make in other people's lives and the level of purpose and joy we find in our efforts.
I'd like to invite you to engage me in an ongoing conversation around the following "raising adolescents" hypothesis:
Our most important job * as adult advocates (parent, guardian, teacher, counselor, etc.) is to stop fighting genetics and guide our charges (child, student, etc.) toward finding their passion. Everything else will fall into place as a result.
Seriously, what do you think? What are your personal experiences around this as a parent, teacher, as a human being?
It's an idea that I can develop more quickly and completely with your thoughts.
I look forward to the dialogue.
* Let me make the assumption that our fundamental role as adult advocates is to protect our charges; Let's not debate this assumption.
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